Long ago when you were a child you didn’t have the best of family growing up. You were forced to hold yourself back and surpress multiple parts of who you were. You started to disidentify with who you were and dissociate from your own self. Maybe, you even stepped out of your body a few times. Our upbringing can be a source of umcomfort as it prevents us from maturing to who we really are but, sometimes you must accept the fact that life didn’t give you the best of hand.
And now, you are ready to move because you are all grown up now. You are living life to the fullest and feeling very hopeful for something exciting to happen to you in the near future. This can be very confusing when you completely suppress who you are to allow yourself to fit in with your environment because otherwise you would be punished by those whom you love, or of authority. But, consider you must kick them out of your own home as you are the master of your life now. You are the one who makes your rules and life. They are long gone. I am sorry for what happen to you before.
But do you even know who you are? Do you have an idea of what your true nature is? If you could define it, could you? Shouldn’t you true nature be easily expressed without effort? Maybe, your true got shattered to oblivion. And forced you to adopt a lower position where you coudln’t be yourself because of “them.” You are all grown up now and have way past that point now. So, now you can define your life as you please, and as you desire. You are here to live your own life and create the life you dream of.
Breaking down layers piece by piece, and rebuilding the house to create a beautiful new home for yourself. Decorate the home with beautiful art work that best your self. And fills you with joy. The things you are proud of the things that makes you happy. The things that remind you of love. Surround yourself with the things you love. Accept it as part of your own. Become one with it and you will absorb it onto yourself.
The question is do you want to break out of your shell now, or later? Which do you prefer? You don’t know yet? Or have you already decided you are content with how things currently are? Because it seems to me you are missing something…I am not too sure what that is…but, you seem like you desire something a little far out there but not too far away.
Start to remove things that are no longer of your nature, and change the house around to finally have a beautiful home you can call a home. Live the life you want. Whatever you desire is just around the corner, but, you have to fight for your desires and surrender the things you must let go. Release what no longer serves you.
What is yourself?
Do you really know?
Could you ever be your real self?
Isn’t that something that should come effortlessly?
Or, do we always redefine who we are?