Loving someone can be one of the most difficult challenges you can face because you are challenging all your fears, doubts, insecurities, worries, etc. all at once. You are giving your heart away to someone and trusting they won’t hurt you. True love is the nakedness between two people where they drops the games and express themselves fully while being themselves in a pure and organic way.
Most relationships start out with the game testing, frame battle, power battle, and drama early on because the two personalities are on auto-pilot play testing themselves in the new context. The dynamic of the relationship and grows, and it where it goes is dependent on the couple play it out. Usually, the drama is about power and who gets power in a relationship or gets to be more selfish, greedy, or what. People, all desire to be superior.
Sadly, in a relationship this desire to dominate your partner is a bit of a risky game. It suggest you are a bit scared and worried. In a sense, you are afraid to lose who you were in the relationship. But, real love between two people is when both sides are doing their VERY BEST to fulfill and gratify the needs of the other. There is a sort of mutual compliance. I scratch your back I scratch yours. Or, like the old saying “partner in crime.”
This is way easier when you have a natural mutual compatibility with your partner versus someone you have zero to little compatibility with. You cannot force someone to be compatible with you. However, someone you are compatible with you can work things out to create a new ebb and flow that is rewarding for you and your lover.
The idea of winner and loser, or dominant or submissive, in terms of relationships is rather silly. Real love is devoid of those labels. However, for mainstream and general purposes there is a bit of that yes. And most people box themselves in one category or the other. Pretty much like picking a character or a role to fill in a relationship. But, is this real love or is this just a fantasy they are enacting(it can be both).
When love is pure there is an easier time to vibe and resonate with your partner, and is a lot less of a battle. Your partner will love to talk to you about all the deep topics inside your heard. Your partner will love to hear you out and listen to you talk about all the crazy stuff inside of you without judgement or criticism. Real love is devoid of criticism and judgement.
Choosing to love means you are allowing yourself to be completely naked, vulnerable, to be seen without the mask for the first time. It is a disarming of the old armor and make a real spirit to spirit and heart to heart connection. Sadly, most people cannot drop their egos, long enough to experience something profound and real. Yet, everyone secretly desires love.
What about you my dear reader? Can you love once more again, or will the fear of rejection, embarrassment, hurt, etc. hold you back from being true to your nature? Because you know the answer deep inside your soul whether you want to admit or not.
Obviously, there must be a mutual attraction, and some level of compatibility otherwise you cannot create this type of relationship. This type of relationship is very rare, so rare, it’s only spoken about and never experienced. But, when you find real love it far surpass any superficial dating, where both sides are playing a fake persona to appease to the other. But, in real life, it’s more both sides drop their mask, personas, ego, and express their real self(or spiritual ego) in a healthy manner that is done in a loving and harmonious way.
One of the best feelings on earth is when someone cares, and really cares about you. They are interested in you, they love to listen to you, they love to bond with you, they love to do anything and everything with you. This is by far one of the best experiences in life when you another can be real and true to yourself and come from a place of love, caring, wholeness.
The issue is in our modern day life we are all forced to play roles for society. Roles for your friends, roles for your family, roles to yourself, and everyone else. We ever hardly get to experience what we so desperately desire. Which is a real bond between you and someone you truly love and care for. Everyone is so scared. Scared to be seen. Scared to express because they are afraid of the negative social consequences. But, the beauty in life is experiencing yourself fully and allowing yourself to let go.
There is no right or wrong, just different types of expressions(some more mature and healthier than others). Just the same way we have different shades of colors. People personalities are like different shades of colors.
My friend, are you willing to face your biggest fears? Will you allow yourself to expression yourself with all your heart and soul. In a pure and loving way that expresses your nature. Or will you hold yourself back? Will you pretend to be someone you’re not to keep social pretenses. There is no rush, just take your time because everything requires time.