Looking at others and seeing others as defective or damaged is very easy.
This is what most people do when they are in a social group especially with newcomers.
First most people are locked in their own POV(point of view) and when they are looking at other people not only do they not understand them they leave others feeling misunderstood.
As if somehow they are flawed.
I once had a friend who went to a party and the leaders of the event judged and criticized him just by his mere presence.
Not even because he did anything wrong, but, just because they could and their seeing flaws in others.
Many people do this in fact.
As a hypnotist, I don’t look at others as defective per se.
I view them as a work in progress that can improved, as we all do.
But, I don’t view other people as I have to change you to conform to my standards of living or model of reality.
In fact, this just makes people feel rejected, disproved, misunderstood, etc.
Which will then lead to people being defensive.
Most people want to be the advice giver and not the one receiving advice.
Why is this you might wonder?
It’s more fun, easy, less stress, and a big stroke to the ego.
Most people don’t understand what this communicated or implies.
Which implies a ton of negative implication.
- I am better than you
- You need to be changed because you are damaged
- I am smarter than you
- You are wrong in some type of way
- I know more than you do
- And many more…
When advice is giving incorrectly it will actually come across as an insult to the person which will make them feel highly uncomfortable.
Even if they do just sit there and listen to your advice, they won’t enjoy it.
Most people do enjoy giving advice, but not taking advice.
Being on the receiving on the advice feels like stress.
Unless, the person wants help from you specifically or it’s done in a way that makes them want to hear what you got to say usually it has a negative effect.
Many gurus and teachers do this carelessly too.
Ironically, when they do this, it creates the problem they are saying.
Sort of like a self fulfilling prophecy.
Everywhere you go will try to put you in the inferior position of just sitting there and being told what to do with no concern for you.
If your freewill is take someone advice, and you feel comfortable in doing so. There isn’t anything wrong in this.
But, usually this is not the case it is done in a way that offends as opposed to help.
How do they know you really have those flaws?
Maybe, they are judging you from their POV which has nothing to do with you.
Careless advice giving will highly make people feel uncomfortable, on the spot, stress, defensive, etc.
If done wrong the other person will lose all respect for you and grow to resent you.