Are you using the wrong strategies? Sometimes in your life you will try to do things that are based on ideas you did before, and while they may have worked in the past that doesn’t mean they will work with new the people in your life. Also, if you tried techniques in the past and it has gotten a blow out negative reaction then take that as a sign that maybe the idea of behavior is not conducive for a healthy relationship.
Sometimes, we do things that makes sense to us but to other people doesn’t make sense. This is why communication is very helpful and very important. If you want to make connection and connect with the people in your life you have to understand what are their needs-wants, and how they like to support and receive support.
If you try to do random strategies and that person is not reacting then try something different. Because, you cannot force people to your line of thinking from their level of awareness or consciousness they are currently at. We live in the world of information and there are billions of ideas that are conflicting with each other. ANd to make matters worse there are different stages of awareness, planets, etc.
This is why when you are communicating with other people you have to be mindful to what they are receptive to and know just your personal interest.
For example a guy trying to pursue, a women has to speak in a manner that she likes and finds attractive. Why? Because the women is the audience or market. So, the guy has to speak in a way that she will like in order to be attractive to him. Otherwise, she won’t be attracted. The dating has it’s own set of protocols and when you break the rules, it will create negative attraction.
Negative attraction is when the person loses interest because of something you are doing they is turning them or making them want to spend less time with you. Essentially, attraction works like a magnet. When you do the right behaviors that someone likes they will reward you with benefits and love. This of course happens naturally without us thinking about it. It’s not like we actually need to think about all of this. It just happens naturally.
If you want to win at games, you have to do strategies that make sense in the rules of the game. You have to stay in the parameters of the game and not just do whatever you like doing. For example, if you are playing basketball you are confined to the rules of the game. If you are playing football you are confined to the rules of the game. If you are playing hockey you are confined to the rules of the game. If you are playing tennis you are confined to the rules of the game. And that is why you cannot, just do anything you want. Yes, you have freewill and ability to express yourself, yet, it still in the space of reality and the laws of life.
Keep the person you are speaking to in mind before, trying things they don’t like. Monitor and assess their level of interest. If they are not interested, they will get bored and move away from you, causing you not to get what you want out of that relationship. If it’s a business relationship, you will not get be able to close the deal – same thing in your dating life. When a women does something that is attractive she will be called out, and if she doesn’t adapt or adjust that is the end of the relationship 100%.
In life we are playing all types of games you can say. You have the space to express yourself, yet it is still in the parameters of the box you are in. Just like in basketball, if you go out of bounce you are “penalized” and the ball goes to the other team. Essentially do your best to stay relevant to other people’s interest, if you see something it not working change up the story or try something different. No one is saying you cannot be authentic, but you have to keep in mind of the interest and desires of the person you are speaking to otherwise their will be an issues with wants-needs that will just ruin a relationship before it even begins. First impression is what people see once they met you, so you cannot expect too much from them as soon as you meet them. Get to know them and start little by little. And as you build a relationship with your comfort zone will be expanded and so will theirs. Just like playing battle ship. A dot becomes a huge field. So start, slow, start with what they like and then “gradually” adjust the volume/notch/temperature/style to something else. Just introduce the idea to them first.
But, before you do something that is outside their comfort zone you have to build a rapport and make it safe for them to engage with. They have to really know you first before doing something that is way too risky. If something is way too risky and you and the other person just met chances are things will not turn out well. When in doubt start small and simple then slowly change it up later with whatever it is you want to that is new or outside other people’s comfort zones.
Think about it when someone shows you something new are you always excited about what it is they are presenting you. When a man approaches a women they usually don’t feel comfortable or safe at first. Why is that? Because, women are hard wired with fear. So it is the man’s job to make the women feel safe. If he doesn’t make her feel safe she cannot have an orgasm and will deny the relationship. Or simply that will be a no go and their will be no relationship.