I was riding my car the other day, some dude was coming in hot on the left and I was signaling right be he signaled he was going right and I had to swerve my car at the last second because he gave me the right signal. He signal one thing, but meant a whole other, and the whole thing was just a formula for disaster. Luckily, no one got hurt and we were A-Ok.
People can be very hard to read when they don’t know how to communicate their thoughts and emotions properly.
Especially more if they are incongruent with their message.
One way to think of congruency is all size being equal or in the case of communication the speaker has an idea and verbally expresses the idea in a way that is understood by the audience.
Sometimes, when you are talking to random people you are unsure what they are saying because they said one thing and meant another.
Socializing is a bit complex and you have to learn how to juggle multiple concepts and realities on the fly.
Most people can only juggle one or two balls in the air and any more than that and they are done.
It doesn’t help that everyone has their own unique way of interpreting life and there are plenty of meaning and opinions to things that are purely subjective.
Which is why learning how to juggle realities and people’s definition will make you an excellent coach, therapist, and social operator.
People who can master this skill make great leader because they know what people want and how to move people.
One area in life where this is very important in is in dating.
Both males and females miscommunicate for many reasons.
One reasons for this is because men communicate in one way and women communicate in a different way.
Men are more logical and women are more emotional/ more about the social experience.
If a women gives the wrong signals she will attract the wrong types of people(serial killers, thieves, abusers, etc).
However, if a woman learns to give the right signals she will find and attract the people who are a better match for what she does want.
However this is a tricky thing when it comes to this subject, because it is not pure logical.
It would be one thing if attraction was logical, but it’s a bit more complex than that.
If it was logical you can go down the street and just find your soul mate, but because it’s not it is very difficult to find the right people.
But, if you learn to read the signs people are giving and learn how to send the right signs you will be the master of your life.
You will meet the people who you do want and you will avoid the people you don’t want.