Let’s pretend you are deeply attracted to the person you are strongly attracted to.
There are a few things to keep the bond and strong and there are plenty of things to ruin a relationship that had potential.
First rule for any relationship is to start slow and not to unload all your baggage and problems into each other.
Here and there it’s okay, you don’t want to scare your partner immediately before getting to know them and with them still trying to figure you out.
If you reveal too much about yourself you run the risk of saying the wrong things and giving the wrong impression about who you are which will scare them off and lose attraction and interest.
Instead speak about the best things about yourself what are some of the things you can do very well and what do you bring to the table in a relationship.
It’s okay to speak of your flaws lightly as to show you are not perfect which also relieves the tension on both sides.
In the scenario of a first date revealing your flaws and shortcoming can be a great way to relate and release the tension.
Once you do get in the relationship avoid judging too much, criticizing too much, turning them into something you want that they don’t want, and plenty more.
The most important thing in creating a safe relationship is full acceptance of each other and the other person.
By accepting the other person you and other person will open and feel much more relax and comfortable to be yourselves around each other.
Judging and criticizing are instant turnoffs because they make the atmosphere rather tense, stressful, and takes away from the pleasure of being a relationship.
It’s not to say they are never allowed, but it is to say keep it to a very minimum.
If you have to constantly change your partner to conform to what you want him to be, you are probably better of finding a new partner that can fit the bill.
However, if you see potential in this person as a person that you can keep them and help them to become their greatest version.
There is nothing wrong with building and improving.
But, for a safe relationship ACCEPTANCE must be felt and not communicated.
When people feel comfortable around you they will open themselves up to you and makes them feel okay to be around you without the nuisance of being judged or criticized.
No one likes to be constantly attacked or constantly nagged.
They only create a toxic and very tense atmosphere.
There is a way to do this positively which is called constructive feedback.
And constructive feedback is okay.
For example, please remember to do XYZ.
Hey I would like you to do more of this because of XYZ.
Hey I notice you blast the TV too loud can you please lower it down a bit.
It’s fine to let the other person know what you would like to improve in a relationship but it should never come from a place of whining and complaining.
And this will make the person they are not doing a good job in a relationship.
And if a women is nagging to the man the man runs risk in not feeling being a man. Because the role of a man in a relationship is to provide, protect, and lead the women he is with.
In order to create a safe relationship a sense of togetherness, fun, playfulness, a positive atmosphere is crucial.
The cheap drama, complaining, whining, shaming, blaming, judging, criticizing, these are things that do not create for a safe relationship.
And if you are doing the above then be mindful as to how they are affecting your relationships with the people in your lives.