How You Can Create Personal Boundaries?
If you wish to set personal boundaries you must learn how to say no. Saying no doesn’t need to be as hard as we make it seem like. Sometimes, one can be afraid to say because for many different reasons.
There are lot of fears and reasons about setting personal boundaries that are related.
Sometimes, one feels it is unsafe to say no or has issues expressing their own personal wants and needs.
If you have issues with asking for what you want chances are it will be difficult to say no to others.
However, please think about what it means. If someone is putting you in a situation you are uncomfortable with or if something that you don’t like or want.
Then you can simply say no and move on. Saying no doesn’t need to be as bad we make it seem like it is. You can say no thank I appreciate it.
If you are the sensitive type, empaths, healer, or any of the sort, then saying no can be extremely difficult because you feel other’s pain. And you can see yourself as them when you are saying no. But, as stated above, you can let others down easy. You can tell people no in a way that is okay for their egos and then just carry on to the next topic.
Do you want to go out with the movies?
No thank you.
But, why not?
Because, I am not interested in this point of time. Maybe later. Maybe later when I am in the mood. Maybe later is a better time. Or, perhaps you just need more time to think about it. Believe it or not if you don’t know an answer just say let me get back to you on that one.
Because, it is a normal and perfectly acceptable answer to think before you make a decision. Most people need a few days before agreeing with an idea. That’s how the mind works best. Ideas need time to cook before we want it. Of course, if it’s an idea you already thought of and it is something you love to do it won’t take much convincing to do, especially if it’s a desire you are already thinking about right now.
But, with random people around the streets who are making suggestions to you in the streets. You bet your default answer should be no. You don’t no them and you don’t know if they are safe. So it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Now, the issue comes when people are presenting to you great ideas and you keep declining on the offers. If you find yourself in this situation just say no, and let me do some research on it. Then call them up or text them up and say you agree with the idea.
Sometimes, in life we must do our own research first before we make a decision.
If we have not processes a decision, or if a new idea is presented to us that we have no response to there is a sort of “lag” or delay in our brains and this creates moments of uncertainty and hesitation. And that is because our brain has no strategies for the situation.
Once more, if you found yourself in this situation just say no. Then, write it down in your journal the event that happened. Try to understand why it happened. And then process how you would react differently next time. Was it a new event or did you just not know how to react because it was a new situation? Jot down a few ideas you can to prepare yourself for the next time you find yourself unsure.
The mind likes to stick to anything is safe, comfortable, and familiar. Naturally, anything new will trigger a stress response or just unsure. You see this in conversations all the time. Once person is talking about something they love and they moment you change the topic about something they don’t know generally speaking their confidence level will dramatically drop. And that is because they don’t have anything to say. So, in this case it’s best if you stick to what is familiar to people.
That is why we usually say stick to easy and light topics or go slow. It is very much like extending your comfort zone. Our mind has comfort zones for EVERYTHING. The better you get the more flexible you will become. The more flexible you become the more easier it will be to be in any situation and fell safe and OK.
Feeling unsure about any offer when someone first presents it to you is perfectly normal. Your mind doesn’t know what to do with the new information. Just say no and do your research on it and see what it was about.
What to do if you have issues saying no?
When you walk around in your city and a homeless person ask you for money simply say NO. You can even yell at the homeless NOOOOOOOO! Why? You are not trying to be an asshole you are just improving on your ability to set boundaries.
People who are not good at saying no are in a confusing predicament. They dont like causing others harm. They don’t like making other feel feel rejected. They know how much rejection hurts themselves. Maybe, they have issues with asking for what they want, so when others do the same, they don’t like to say.
Friend, life is very situation and you don’t always need to be the same way all the time. When in doubt, just say no, or no let me come back to you on that.
We will have a great exercise in just a moment on how to set no, if you are having some issues with it.
Do you find it difficult to say no?
Yes or No?
Now, do you want to know how to ask for you want?
First, you remind yourself your wants and needs are valid. You have things you want here in this moment and you must ask God or the universe what do you want. When you tell it God will be able to give you what you want. Yet, if you sit there expecting God or the universe to know what you want without you saying anything then you will run into a lot of trouble. For most people are not mind readers. I am the closest thing to a mind reader you will probably ever find.
You have the right to express yourself. You have the right to say you want or need this. Being a human is learning you have many hundreds of needs and wants all which can change in a heartbeat. You just sitting there shift from many different thoughts. You need to ask God what it is you want and you shall receive what you are looking for. Because if you don’t ask God won’t know.
What do you want?
And don’t be ashamed of whatever it is you want. Maybe, it’s a bit lame. Just know it’s something you want to explore right now. One thing that keeps you stuck is having a desire without no outlet. Once you fulfill a desire you will see whether it’s something you really like or not. You will see whether it is something you want to continue or not, or of it’s really a super serious desire.
Highly Recommended Resources
The resources down below are tools you can use to help you improve your ability to create more boundaries, assert yourself, and help you ask for what you want. These are tools I’ve personally used myself in the past and know you will love them. Give them a try and let me know what you think.
- Fearless – Generate Unstoppable Confidence
- Stop Manipulation: Protect Yourself Against All Evil
- Emotional Freedom : Do You Want To Heal Emotional Traumas?
That’s all I have I for you on how to create personal boundaries. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to drop them down below. And we will be happy to assist you. If you have a topic for a future article please let us know with the comment section down below. Thank you for reading, until next time!