Deep inside ourselves there is buried a feeling of not feeling good enough or some type of lack.
I know for me this was very real.
The need to be more perfect became an obsession of mine. A unhealthy twist of desires you could say. I am all for self development but the chasing of improvement implies you don’t feel good enough as you are.
What’s more true is this thing we called “perfect” is somewhere over there that doesn’t exist. We have created a condition for our own happiness.
This is a topic that hits home for me. How many family gatherings have I skipped because not feeling perfect enough? How many relationships I avoided because not feeling perfect enough? How many things in my life did I avoid because this empty feeling of not being enough or chasing perfection.
One of my goal was to make life as easy as possible. Which is one reason I got into spirituality. I wanted everything to be easy because just how much of a struggle everything was. So, somewhere in me I figured if I cane unlock this sort of god code like a video game I will be cruising through life.
While I did unlock this sort of “god code” it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. My discovery with being spiritually awake is simply that I’ve become more awake with the process of being alive. As opposed to mindlessly letting the days go by. I can see myself and really see myself. I can make my own decisions. Nothing I’ve learned from my awakening is applicable to practical everyday living because no matter what we have to use our time on something. And being consciously, simply means you are making better decisions that are best serving to you.
I learned of all the subconscious energy that was holding me back and that essentially made made up of my false persona.
That’s my little back story with chasing perfection. I believe as opposed to “chasing” perfection we should be aiming for self-acceptance. Everything that is self-loving is good for the spirit.
There is too much noise in today’s world that forces us to think we need more…more…more…
But, in actuality what we need is more happiness internally and whatever makes us happy externally. Of course, this will mean different things to everyone.
Of course, self-improvement is still something to do but NOT the by product of this endless chasing. We have been conditioned to think we are not good enough as we are. Or, perhaps, that’s an instinct of ours to always be seeking for more. But, I believe there is something to being happy just because you 0we it to yourself to be happy. You only get one life why make it a terrible one? If you only get one life why not really live the life you came to live(this will be different for everyone).
I’ve wasted a lot of time chasing perfection which really if you trace its core is from insecurities. However, in this day and age I think it’s very easy to feel insecure in today’s world. We have so much abundance and so much competition. I think naturally it’s very easy to feel like you are missing out or you are not good enough.
But ultimately, I think that is what winning in life is today. Really loving yourself. Really loving yourself to not accept anything that hurts your personal space. Really loving yourself to not let other people ruin your happiness. Really loving yourself to bravely go after what you want. Now, that’s impressive.
We worship so many things but we have it backwards. We should be impressed by people and their qualities and not things.
I am more impressed with how someone manifested a million dollars than the actual million dollars itself because money is symbolic, but also just a number. You can collect monopoly money and feel better about yourself because you have “fake money.”
But, I think all of that is missing the point. We ultimately came here to be happy and if anything is taking away from your happiness than it’s simply not worth it.
The funny thing about perfection is that true mastery only comes while having the courage to pursue what it is want. This means, we are not running from the ups and downs of life, but rather embracing the ups and downs. This does not mean we purposely make poor choices, but, we are BOLD in our choices.
Imagine how much better your life could be if you truly let yourself live today without waiting for the perfect circumstances to align. Because, the cold truth is nothing will ever be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. It’s okay to have wants-needs, but remember things take and everything in life has stages. You cannot skip the steps.
PS: I will be actively improving myself, but, just from a place curiosity. A place of I want to improve for my sake as opposed to needing the fancy car to impress friends and family. And the list goes on.
If you focus on your happiness, and yes, move towards your goals then I believe you found the answer to both happiness and obtaining your dreams.