What to do in new relationships?
In new relationships, especially spiritual ones it is important to start slow. This is a golden rule even in the dating game in the modern world. Because, if you reveal too much too early you lose attraction which will terminate the cat and mouse game before it even started.
For this article, let’s skip the approaching part as that would make this more messy.
First, start with the basics very important you do this part of the human interaction because it will help to break the ice easily, and it will make connection. This is a great way to make connection because one it is easy for everyone involved, it reduces the pressure of keeping this light and easy(heavy topics makes things awkward).
When in doubt stick to something general avoid doing anything crazy, or something that would cause them to be instantly be turned off by you.
Remember nice and easy in the beginning. You have to prepare your meal. The same can be said about dating. You must prepare it right with the right ingredients and strategies*.
Get a general feel of what your partner likes, dislikes, what he does for work, his dreams, his future, what he wishes he could or what is that one thing he would want right now if he could have it. Creating this effect in the beginning of the relationship is insanely powerful. Just remember nice and casual in the beginning start slow then open them up.
When strangers meet no one is fully comfortable. In fact, most people when they first meet feel really awkward. Heck, even socializing you could argue is awkward. Yet, we do it because it is part of the human condition.
So going back to what nice and easy means. Be simple, easy going and friendly. Avoid topics that can a little too intense(politics, etc). The exception is if they WANT A POLITICAL CONVERSATION which means they already declared they are open for that type of conversation.
If you do something too risky or too uncommon expect this to work in the lower percentages like 5- 15%. They only work with other oddballs who are interested in the same stuff. For the rest of the world there is “meta” protocol that is universal all around the world.
If this person you are speaking to is interesting and is someone you want to pursue romantically, then, ask him/her question that would help you understand what their likes,dislikes, needs, wants, fears, hopes, dreams, etc.
The better you do here the easier it will be to land the person you’ve been dreaming about for some years now.
Always, remember to stick to what they like and give them more of what they like. Refrain from being creative and showing them new(it’s a lowball strategy hardly works). And if you do decide on this frame it in a friendly and playful way.
What works the best is you understand the person and you give them more of what they want. From their perspective you will be a God/Goddess
Does this contradict being authentic or be yourself? Only if you let it. We do this all the time. When we dress up for interviews.
This is simply called adapting, try to rid of the ego while doing this.
Some bonus tips:
It would help you sort for the person you want by describing the qualities you love in a person. What is it about that quality that you love? Ask yourself this question and attracting that person will be easier. This is known as setting criterias.
The other person also has a vague critieria list conscious or unconscious. The closer you are to their criteria list the more likely you will succeed at getting the person you desire.
Avoid risky topics too beginning. Rapport(trust), safety, comfortness, many things need to be done before moving to the next step… Which is why “small” talk is very helpful. It helps to break the ice.
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