Everything in life is a trade. We are trading energies, money, time, etc. Even socializing can be considered a kind of trade. We are trading our time-energy for someone’s time-energy. And, if like their energy then we appreciate their time. And will want to continue the relationship with that person and also spend more time with that person.
If we do not enjoy their energy then you will either ignore them, or find someone else to talk to. You don’t have time to talk to everyone. You can only give one person time and your energy. And, you will pick someone who you enjoy more than someone that you do not find attractive, worthwhile to talk to, boring, etc.
That’s why in our relationships you have to remember to make it worthwhile for the person you are engaging with. Dale Carnegie once stated everyone is on their favorite channel:
WIFI(What’s in it For Me).
In economics there is something called opportunity cost. You would prefer something that gives you more value than something gives you less value. You would talk to someone who is attractive than not. You would rather talk to someone with good social skills than not. In life there is this invisible thing called opportunity cost. Which affects our decision making.
We all want to get more for our time. And if there is something that is a better option than it is easier to just go somewhere else instead.
If you have $10 and you are going shopping, you can only buy things with your $10 dollar budget which means you can only afford to buy $10 worth of stuff. Which also means you will want to use your money wisely with the $10 you and choose the best items.
If you can get the same item for cheaper at the same quality you would choose to pay less over than pay more for the same.
In the dating game, women and men have something that is called SEXUAL MARKET VALUE. Which means you have a certain value the market values you at. And I suppose you have a value you think you have.
If the market values you tons, the market will easily flock to you without effort.
If your value of yourself is higher than the market, then you will be in for disappointments.
People do things because people want to GAIN or BENEFIT from their time, relationship, etc.
That’s why the ideal of a non-transnational relationship is a myth. A non transnational relationship is simply two people who unconscious matches the others unconscious desires, and thus fulfills each other’s needs naturally. Everyone is happy because their needs and wants are being met “automatically” which feels like a non-transitional relationship. Unconditional love is something you should give to yourself and God. The idea of unconditional love is a scam invented by women(or rather promoted by women). Unconditional love does not exist.
The only type of unconditional love that exist is one you give to yourself / God. To love a stranger as part of yourself while sounds nice on a spiritual level, it is simply not practical in our daily lives. When in doubt stick to what is practical.
In relationships remember if you are giving the other enough value to consider your “offer.” Because you are always making an offer. Which is then being filtered by the other person and then their subconscious is making a decision and factoring opportunity cost.
If you want someone to do what you want you have to know what they want, their values, and see how you can best give it to them. If you don’t give the other person what they want, it will be a NO-GO/ Negative. Which means the experience will be rejected, ignored, etc. By understanding what they want it, loving it is easy.
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