When You Have Too Much Empathy Do This(stop being drained by others!)
Empathy is the ability to feel and understand what someone is going through.
Sometimes, you even experience the same feelings they do.
Ever been to a movie and started crying in the scene that was played? Empathy works that same way.
I would like to clarify I am very empathic and understanding toward others.
I do my best to assist them in the ways I can do so.
But sometimes it is too much and enough is enough.
People can take you for a ride, and a very long one at that.
When you are very empathic you will feel like a yo-yo going back and forth with someone’s emotions.
Their feelings become yours, and their problems become your problems.
At times you may not even realize this is happening because you are so caught up in the moment.
Empathy is a great skill because it allows you to connect with anyone.
People love talking to you because you understand them on a deep-down level like no one else does.
But, it can also be very draining if you are not careful because they may love talking to you so much they begin to overwhelm you.
But, also, just the process of talking to people can be draining because you start to pick up their emotions, their moods, their problems.
When is it too much?
If they call you every time they have a problem, it is too much.
If they need you to help regulate their mood constantly it is too much.
If they need you to help fix their problems constantly it is too much.
If you start to feel overwhelmed it is too much.
If you spend more time helping them than helping yourself, it is too much.
Set Healthy Boundaries
People need to respect your feelings and your time.
You are taking time out of your life to when helping someone and that costs energy.
It’s not free!
When you are at your limit or you feel overwhelmed just say no.
A lot of nice and friendly people have a hard time saying no.
They love helping people and feel bad when they can’t help.
However, sometimes this leads you to be taken advantage of.
Sometimes, not on purpose, they just simply don’t know.
And sometimes, people don’t care and are selfish.
Make time for “me time.”
That means you do whatever you want to do with no interruptions.
You need time to recharge and gather your energy because tomorrow is another day.
When people don’t respect your time they are saying their time and needs are more important than yours.
Which is a big red flag.
If this person is your friend, why, would they be implying their needs and wants are more important than yours?
Don’t you have things you have to do as well?
Don’t you have issues of your own you have to solve?
Bills need to be paid.
The baby needs their diaper changed.
Work has been stressful lately and you just need a break.
I understand that, but do they?
See a true friend will keep your needs and wants in mind at all times.
They will try to understand your situation so they don’t ask for too much.
They will try to only ask of you what you can give and not expect too much from you.
Do You End The Relationship?
If it’s a good friend and you just want to keep being friends, then you can simply let them know when you are not free to hang out.
If you feel like the relationship is costing more than you are getting then yes.
Time is energy.
Unfortunately, we are limited to how much time and energy we have on a daily basis.
And that means you have to pick the best way to use your time and energy.
If you need to ask yourself whether you need space or not, just take a break, and contemplate.
Ultimately, the decision will be your own as to what you want to do.
But, I implore you to be careful about how you spend your time and energy, otherwise, it will create massive stress and other issues in your own life.
And, if your friend doesn’t care they are creating stress for you then what good are they.
Be mindful of how much these interactions with your relationships will cost you.