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Do You Really Need A Self-Help or Spiritual Guru

Spiritual guru and self help gurus

What is a guru?

A guru is someone who is a master of their craft or skill of choice.

Plenty of people follow a spiritual guru or a self-help guru.

This sounds like a good thing, right? I mean you are taking the initiative to learn from someone who can help you grow and improve.

Have you heard about any type of cults?

They have one leader who tells the followers how to think, and what to think, they make the rules, and the people around them must obey.

If the cult restricts or limits free thinking or free will then it is a cult.

The leader will make the rules and the followers have to follow their wishes and will.

By extension, you become, another extra arm to meet their needs.

You are just a tool to give them what they want.

Cults have been packaged in all types of ways: particularly in MLM(multi-level-marketing) and Spirituality.

People don’t save people, they are an agent that helps produce change in people.

People save themselves through the teaching of others.

If the “guru” is not providing you agency to help you grow, be independent, and self-sufficient this is a HUGE RED FLAG.

The intent is to keep you there depended on them for help, and keep being a tool for their needs.

Ironically, by simply meeting people’s needs in a compassionate, and wise manner, people are most likely to stay.

Yes, some people will leave, but that is part of life and that has to be welcomed.

People come and go for all types of reasons:

-they moved

-they are bored

-they want something new

-they disagree with the beliefs and ideas

-and more

Let me, be clear, by simply making people happy(or happier) than they are more likely to stick around.

Groups that manipulate, force, use controlling tactics, etc. are unhealthy for the people in the group.

It’s a form of abuse that is very subtle, and no one realizes because people are blindfolded by what’s happening they can’t even realize they are being abused.

Leaders have a great influence on the impact of their teachings, and, should be careful, and take what they teach seriously.

If you are going to have any type of influence of power, then, it needs to be done responsibly, otherwise, it will lead to demise for everyone.

The leader of cults eventually goes to jail.

The followers walk out feeling shame, regret, humiliation, and other negative emotions.

They trusted the leader, and they felt like they were doing the right thing, only to be betrayed by the ONE PERSON they trusted the most, who they thought either cared or was leading them to a better place.

Leaders have their own reasons for leading:



-social status

-helping people

-teaching new ideas and a new way to think

-and others

The question is, does the leader have your best interest in mind, are their intentions noble, and are their intentions pure?

Everyone is selfish, but what we really are concerned about is the degree of selfishness.

Because if they are only doing it for money or fame, they may lead you on the wrong path.

People don’t always do things for the right reasons, but, at the very least they are helping people.

And, if they are not helping people what is the point?

Greedy, selfish, and evil people eventually get caught and figured out.

The mask eventually slips, they can’t hold the facade forever, and their true colors are revealed to the world.

Plenty of people have given so much to cults, organizations, and gurus.

Their lives were ruined because of it.

So am I saying to never be a follower or get a teacher?

No of course not.

Before you can lead you start as a follower.

Before you become a teacher you are a student.

If you wanted to learn a type of skill or craft you may need a coach or a teacher to help you get started and learn what you need to know.

This is great, having someone help you accelerate your personal growth and learning process.

But, the right way is when it is done with positive/good intentions or the very least they are being helpful and not influencing you in a negative way.

It’s fine if they charge money for their time.

But what’s not okay is if they harm you in any type of way.

You are paying them to provide relief for your problems, not make them…

If they teach you in a healthy manner where both sides get what they wanted out of the interaction then is absolutely nothing wrong with this.

This is normal and we have been doing this for thousands of years.

In short, if your coach, leader, guru, etc. is helping you grow as a person by meeting your needs, then it is providing value for your life and honoring your time.

However, if they don’t respect your time, make you feel worse, make you lose money, or harm you in any type of way, they don’t have your best interest at heart or mind.

And that is when you don’t need a guru.

True leaders teach and inspire people.

Fake leaders only make their bank accounts fatter, provide nothing of use, waste your time, etc.

Some things to consider:

  • Are they helping you grow?
  • Are they motivating you to do better?
  • Are they honoring your time?
  • Do they meet your needs?
  • Do you feel like your time is being of good use?
  • Are they helping you solve the problem?
  • Do they have good intentions?
  • What’s in it for them?
  • Do you feel like you are growing as a person and can really say you have been?
  • Do they have the best intentions of heart and mind to help you?
  • Are they a good person?
  • Do they reflect their teachings?
  • Can they prove they can solve your problem?
  • Are they just using you for their own personal benefit?
  • Do they care to solve your problem? Are they passionate about their work?
  • Are they just in it for the money?
  • Do they have a hidden agenda?
  • Do I trust that person?