Helping people feels good.
We all have a natural inclination to help others whenever they need it.
Sometimes, it is best to let someone struggle for a while and learn the lesson they need to learn otherwise they will continue repeating the same mistake.
It can be frustrating to see someone making the same mistake, and wanting to help them, but if you help they will never learn.
Especially when it is so OBVIOUS to you what the problem is.
How Can You Tell When You Are Enabling Someone?
Whenever they are in pain or suffering you come to their rescue and bail them out.
This keeps them powerless and at times can form a sort of co-dependency because they cannot take care of themselves in the way they should.
If they are asking for help every time they need help chances are they are looking for EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.
Nothing wrong with helping people feel good about themselves, but, I’ll you show one way it can be enabling.
Let’s say a woman is making mistakes in their relationship and they turn to friends and describe everything their partner is doing without mentioning the wrongs they are doing.
The friends will naturally assume her partner is the bad one in the relationship and provide words of encouragement to help her feel better in the moment.
But what the friends don’t see is they are only getting HER STORY of what is transpiring in the relationship.
So the friends make the woman feel better about herself, and the woman feels like she has done nothing wrong because she got emotional support from her friends.
The woman above didn’t even mention what SHE DID WRONG.
Even in cases when the woman does mention her wrongs in the relationship friends will often come to their rescue to make them feel less down.
They are just trying to help.
But, sometimes what people need is a dose of HONESTY to provide an answer to their PROBLEMS and not make them FEEL BETTER.
Let’s say a man has a drinking problem, the enabler will not be truthful but allow them to continue.
How To Stop Enabling Someone?
Don’t always help with the first sign of trouble.
If you help them and the mistake continues, let them figure it out.
I know this can sound harsh, but, you are doing it in their best interest.
You are teaching them to be independent and self-sufficient.
Generally speaking, be supportive and always do your best to be helpful.
But, there comes a point in time when you realize your friend is not getting any better, their situation is not improving, and this is when you are going to have to break it down for them(honesty).
Bring attention to their mistakes and flaws that are allowing the problems in their life to continue.
Bring attention to the things that are creating problems in their life.
If you do it with the best intentions most of the time people will listen to what you have to say.
Sometimes they are not ready for the message.
Sometimes they fight the message, and they need time to process it.
In any case, if you let them know, now the ball is on their court and they can accept or ignore your advice.
It is not always comfortable having to be honest with your friend in this way, but, if you care about them you will let them know.
Disclaimer: Please don’t use this as an excuse to annoyingly correct people’s flaws. This is to be used as a way to break the negative cycle someone is in.
Enabling And The Law of Attraction
If one person is being enabled they won’t learn the lesson they need to attract different outcomes.
And this is because they are being REWARDED for doing the WRONG things in their life.
The one being enabled gets REINFORCED by the positive reassurance of their actions and sees that it is not a problem in the lives of other people, so they decide not to change anything.
After all, why do anything differently if you don’t have to, right?
This is the idea they get when they are being enabled – they think since no one is telling them what they are doing is a problem they don’t have to change.
Most people improve themselves naturally and desire to change.
Some people would rather cut corners when they can because change is uncomfortable.
Admitting they have a problem is very uncomfortable for them.
It is like any addiction, they keep doing it, even when it is destroying their life.
The way The Law of Attraction works, in this case, is the one being enabled will get some short and temporary elevation, but they will eventually find themselves stuck or go right back down again.
And this is because they are not really a vibrational match to the new vibration they are in.
And this is why enabling people can be bad for them because you are allowing them to continue making the same mistake without them learning the lesson.
If this article or any article here has helped you do me a small favor and post it on any social media platform you use.
My reward from this is making a difference in someone’s life.